Five Guilty Pleasures

When I challenged Green to post his five guilty MOVIE-RELATED pleasures (Had to emphasize that in case we learned things about our Christian mascot best left in the goody drawer) I had no idea how difficult this particular assignment would prove to be. Partly because I am able to find enjoyment in films others poo-poo and partly because, well speaking the plain truth, I am one shameless mofuka.

It isn't easy for someone like me to point out something about which I feel guilty, but I shall give it my best shot. (Green's cute little adorable listy-poo follows mine):

1. The Postman- Yes, I know this Kevin Costner vehicle runs the risk of jingoistic propaganda at a record every fifteen seconds. Yes, I know I have a personal beef with award-winning author David Brin, whose original novel received enormous critical acclaim. But dammit! This is a great movie. Costner is at his finest in a role that forces him to move back and forth between heroic and weasel-like with amusing regularity. The concept of a traveling con man finding an abandoned mail truck and instilling hope back into the people of a post-Apocalyptic wasteland as a living symbol of the old days of democracy is so satirically brilliant that only an idiot wouldn't find enjoyment in this one.

2. Maximum Overdrive- Emilioooooooooooooooo!!! What's not to love about Stevie King's directorial dee-butt? It has machines killing people, people dying, blood, a horrible AC/DC soundtrack and Emilio Mr. Mighty Ducks/Repo Man Billy the Freakin' Kid Estevez!!! Emilio is at his coolest as the parolee/gopher at the truck stop diner where a group of mismatched and pretty damn hilarious people take their final stand against the rebelling machines. Keep a special eye out for a cameo by King as a shit-kicker trying to get money from an ATM at the very beginning. This film deserves a second chance!

3. Fear City- Don't even bother telling me you've never heard of this one. It stars Tom Berenger and Billy Dee Williams as, respectively, a nudie bar owner and a cop. Apparently there's a serial killer wackin' strippers. At least, I think that's the plot. It's hard to remember when Rae Dawn Chong does her nude scene on stage and bends her ass over in the camera. Aside from that scene which I rewound several times as an impressionable teen, there are two other kick-ass things about this film: 1. Berenger's characters is a golden gloves champ so guess how he takes on the killer, and 2. Billy Dee Williams' vice cop, while hassling the innocent club owner, yells out, "I told you to keep the pussy off the table!" Lando!!! How could you???

4. Critters (all of 'em)- There's something about the concept of cute, cuddly aliens eating people that always makes me smile. I tried to write a story like that, but it never worked. Critters does...FOUR TIMES! Of the series, the second film is the best. But don't sell the one in New York short. All great horror film series wind up in Manhattan and the third installment of this series doesn't disappoint. In the 90's there was a disturbing trend of moving the action of a horror series into space. Unlike the others, Critters began in space, so it made perfect sense to end the series there. It might sound stupid, and it is, but the dialogue and situations in these films is among the best satirical writing in film history.

5. Infra-Man- Possibly the worst movie ever made, this surreal Chinese monster film can actually cause migraines if one tries to follow the plot too closely. This film proves my contention that only the Japanese should be allowed to make giant monster movies. Besides, it's obvious the Power Rangers took their cue from this (I hope intentionally) hilarious kung-fu action monster sci-fi mess.

And now I will uncage Green:

Will you now? Do tell. Do tell.

I will agree with the scribester that this was a harder assignment than I originally thought. My list won't be as juicy as his, because I didn't think he was going to write War and Peace after each item on his list. So then I had to go back and add my own novels after each entry on my list. Well, then without further ado:

1. Star Wars (all six episodes but especially the original three.): This may seem like a no-brainer but must be mentioned at the top of my list. I was an impressionable eight year old when the original Star Wars film came out and have watched these films over and over again straight through. You know it's bad when you have the films on VHS, then have to buy them again when the 1997 Special Editions came out. Then I had to buy the original trilogy when it came out on DVD in the boxed set. Then I bought each of the first three prequel episodes as they came out on DVD. To top it all off, last summer Lucas re-released the original trilogy on DVD as they came out in original theatrical release (1977, 1980 and 1983) and of course I had to have that, too. Not to mention all of the soundtrack CD's that I love to listen to in my car.

2. Monty Python films Holy Grail, Meaning of Life and to a lesser extent Life of Brian: I absolutely love British humor. Love it. At one point in my high school years I had memorized so many lines from The Holy Grail, and still use Pythonisms in my every day speech, sometimes without even realizing it.

3. Jimmy Stewart and Humphrey Bogart films: Up until recently, my exposure to Stewart's and Bogart's films was very limited. The more films of theirs that I watch the more respect I gain for their individual bodies of work. I'm surprised that they didn't star in any films together considering they were both dominating the Hollywood box office at the same time.

4. Mr. Holland's Opus: This to me is one of those feel good movies and one that I always get the weepy eyes at the end. I would love to be thought of and have the impact on a community that Richard Dreyfuss' character has over the thirty years time span that this film portrays.

5. Nightmare on Elm Street films: I'm generally not a horror film fan but something about the creepiness of Freddy Krueger captivates me. Aside from the second installment in the series (which was the worst film in the series in my opinion) and with the possible exception of Jason vs. Freddy, these films were excellently written and very suspenseful.