Star Trek I and II

The scribester managed to snag himself the boxed set of original cast Star Trek movies and suggested that we watch and review 'em all for you! I figured, why the heck not? As a bonus, American Guy has agreed to add his bonus review on some of these movies but couldn't guarantee he'd watch 'em all. We're each going to write a paragraph long review for each film, so we won't entirely bore you to tears. Unfortunately, that's proving harder to do than I thought. Deal with it.

The first of the series is "Star Trek: The Motion Picture", which was released in 1979.

GREEN's BETTER THAN EXPECTED REVIEW:

The only other time I watched this movie was sometime in the early 1980's and I did not like it at all because I thought it to be too long and boring. That being the case, my expectations this time weren't any better. I was actually dreading watching this film to be honest.

Much to my surprise though, it wasn't as bad as I had feared it would be. The Director's Edition, at 136 minutes, is better than the theatrical release of this film but still waaaay too long, especially for the non die-hard Trekkie crowd, like at the beginning when we're looking at the USS Enterprise for, what seems like an eternity. The story takes too long to get interesting. Once invested though, it was better than I remembered it to be, primarily because great philosophical questions are raised as a part of the story. Philosophical questions that are eternally and universally relevant today but will not be discussed here, for obvious reasons.

Watching some of the end credits, I found the following names attached with this film interesting: John Dykstra, because he also worked on the original Star Wars film (Episode IV) in the same capacity, serving as the Special Photographic Effects Supervisor. Noted author Isaac Asimov was a Special Science Consultant for this movie. In the cast credits, Mark Lenard played the Klingon Captain. Lenard is better recognized as Spock's Vulcan father, Ambassador Sarek. Majel Barrett here plays Dr. Chapel. Barrett also played Deanna Troi's mother in TNG, is the voice of the Enterprise's main computer and was Star Trek creator Gene Roddenberry's real life wife. According to IMDB, Indian born actress Persis Khambatta (Lt. Ilia) died of a massive heart attack at the tragically young age of 47, in 1998.

Unfortunately I don't have time to view any of the special features included with the DVD. Maybe if I snag myself a boxed set like scribey-wibey has, then I'll make the time to watch. Perhaps my initial low regard for this film stems in part because I was young when I first watched it as a kid and because most of the sequels are superior in every way.

*** out of *****

SCRIBE'S MAMMARY LANE REVIEW:

I first saw this movie when I didn't have any pubes. Sadly, that was about a week ago but I have 'em now, ladies. Sprouted like a hill of beans. Now I gotta buy a larger size of underwear!

OK, maybe not but dammit, I was determined to find a way to work my pubes into a Trek review at some point, might as well be in the beginning. I loved this movie when I first saw it as a child. Until then, Trek seemed like a really old, cheesey and boring show. But when the film was released and I realized it could be done on a Star Wars scale, I fell in love with the whole concept.

If I have any negative criticisms of the film, they are brief and simple: Slow-paced and too much time devoted to characters who won't be in the sequel, if you catch my drift. Other than that, it is a great film and a fitting return of a crew of legendary spacefarers.

****1/2 out of *****

The second film in the series is "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan", released in 1982.

GREEN'S GENESIS DEVICE REVIEW:

Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant!

This film is masterfully drawn from episode 1.22 of the original Star Trek television series (aired 16 February 1967), "Space Seed", in which Kirk and the Enterprise crew defeat Khan and his gang and leave them to colonize a distant planet. Fifteen years passes and during a scientific research mission, a Federation starship accidentally discovers the remains of Khan's ship, the USS Botany Bay, marooned on the planet. Khan siezes control of the ship and sets off to seek revenge against Admiral James T. Kirk.

The original television episode was compelling and from start to finish, this film is equal to the task. Ricardo Montalban is superb in his reprise of Khan. Notable in the cast is the big screen debut of a thin and attractive Kirstie Alley as the Vulcan Lt. Saavik. This, along with Trek IV, are my favorite installments in the original cast films.

***** out of *****

AMERICAN GUY's STUNNING ONE WORD REVIEW:

KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Truly one of the best lines in cinema history!)

**** out of *****

SCRIBE'S SCENERY CHEWING REVIEW:

This was the one that convinced audiences that Star Trek was a viable franchise. The movie studio was already convinced based on the financial success of the first film.

However, wisely realizing that the original film was far too cerebral for mainstream movie audiences, new poducer Harve Bennett decided to recapture the feeling of the more adventurous TV show episodes. The results are not mixed. This was an operatic, thrilling return of the crew of the Starship Enterprise featuring some of the most glorious scenery chewing a la Montalban and Shatner one will ever see!

I can't really add much to my review that hasn't already been written about this film so I will briefly list the things I have come to appreciate about it, especially as I've grown older and hopefully improved as a writer:

1. The ethical debate over the Genesis Device and its ability to "create life from lifelessness."
2. The idea that Kirk's arrogance and negligence created a potentially lethal threat in the vengeful Khan.
3. The fact that the crew acknowledged getting older gracefully.
4. The moment Kirk places his granny glasses on to look at a readout screen.
5. The fact that director Nicholas Meyer found a way to have a dogfight between two gigantic starships by making the action occur in a nebula.
6. Kirstie Allie's boobies in her Starfleet uniform.

***** out of *****