A Christmas Story

SCRIBE'S IGNORE THE MOTHER'S 1980'S HAIRSTYLE REVIEW:

“A Christmas Story” is one of those films that have an enormous regional appeal in the Midwest. I never knew that until two guys with a local radio show in the Detroit area, one from New Jersey, the other from Missouri, talked about it. The Jersey guy had never heard of it, much to the shock of every Michigander he met.

The film is a staple in Michigan thanks to its constant airings in the Eighties and early Nineties on local channels like WKBD-50. At one point it would air twice during the holiday season. Later, as cable became the norm, it started airing at midnight and even later/earlier. But cable picked it up and made it popular with a national audience.

The story concerns a young boy during the Golden Age of Radio era whose desire to get an air rifle for Christmas becomes an overriding obsession. What results are some rather charming and amusing moments seen through the eyes of a child.

This is a film that is a series of memorable moments more than a consistent narrative. In many ways, it’s the Midwestern equivalent of a Woody Allen reminiscence like “Radio Days,” where the adult narrator looks back fondly on a bygone era many of us never experienced.

The Midwestern Indiana setting helps establish the nostalgic mood in a movie with an obviously modest budget. Not much changes in the Heartland, making it a simple matter to place some classic cars and vintage clothing smack dab in the middle for the sake of authenticity.

One thing working in this film’s favor is the child performances. Nowadays, child actors seem incapable of capturing the feeling of the old days realistically, and I’m including teens in that category. The last time kids could pull off a vintage movie was in the Eighties, and these kids are great.

The best scene in the film involves an assembly line Santa whose haste to go home results in some truly funny moments. Next runner-up is little Ralphie's beatdown of the school bully, a beautifully rendered moment of violence that would never get past the cutting room floor in today's PC world.

Roger Ebert's review of the film features the following line, "In a poignant way, A Christmas Story records a world that no longer quite exists in America."

I wouldn't place the film in the pantheon of great classics like "It's A Wonderful Life" or the various Christmas Carol remakes, but it is a fun and endearing film that reminds us of a more innocent past when kids were still able to dream.

*** out of *****

GREEN'S "YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT, KID" REVIEW:

Imagine that a movie buff, such as myself, had never heard of-- let alone watched-- a twenty-five year old Christmas movie. Well you can stop imagining it, because it's true. Apparently this movie was never as popular here on the east coast as it was/is in scribe-o's part of the country.

The kid, Ralphie (Peter Billingsley) is obsessed with getting a BB gun rifle for Christmas, despite every adult telling him how dangerous they are, but he wants one anyway. Finally Christmas morning is here and as all of the presents are opened, Ralphie doesn't see the one present he really wants more than any other.

The most memorable scenes are (in order of their appearance in the film, as I recall them) the dream sequence where Ralphie, dressed all spiffy as a cowboy in white, shoots off the bad guys while his family cowers under the kitchen table; Ralphie's friend being triple dog dared to touch a frozen pole with his tongue and when he does gets his tongue stuck to the pole (of course his friends then leave him stuck to the pole, forcing the good ol' fire department to come and unstick the young lad); Ralphie being coerced by his mother into dressing up in the large pink bunny suit he got from his aunt for Christmas; the neighbor's dogs coming into the house, ruining dinner and eating the turkey; and the employees of the Chinese Restaurant trying to sing Christmas Carols to their lone guests on Christmas day.

Notice I said memorable and not funny. This movie is neither cute nor funny. It does nothing to stir any emotional response (who cares?). This movie is not memorable in any way and, in my opinion, can hardly be called a classic Christmas movie.

Generally, stories that rely entirely on flashbacks or narration are poorly conceived and the mark of a novice writer. True to form, the script is poor and the acting- across the board- is stiff and uninviting. The narrator, a voice over of an older Ralphie, is annoying.

I really can't see the appeal of this movie. It absolutely does nothing for me. Call it an east coast anti-bias, if you will.

*½ out of *****