Scribe & Green on the BIG screen

There are far too many people out there writing “reviews of movie-films & articles about them with absolutely no clue what the hell they’re talking about." Here are 2 more of them! (Well, one of us knows what the h___ we're talking about, but we'll leave it up to you to decide who that is...) Ultimately, can two people as opposite as Scribe and Green agree on anything?? That's where the fun begins. Won't you join us? (Every now and then we'll add a guest review, just for kicks.)

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Brother Bear

"Brother Bear" is an original Disney story about a boy, the youngest of three brothers, who desperately wants to become a man. In order to do so, he must learn about love and responsibility by becoming a grizzly bear and big brother to a little bear cub whose mother he killed in an act of revenge. The boy turned bear gains a new perspective on life through the eyes of the bear he has become and through the eyes of his little brother bear. This experience transforms his life.

The animation style of this film doesn't have that typical feel of a Disney movie. The way the characters are drawn remind me of a Warner Brothers type cartoon. I like the way the aspect ratio changes to a broader scope once Kenai becomes the bear, likened to his gaining a wider perspective on the world. The story is well conceived and the screenplay well written. The story carries a lot of emotional depth and impact throughout. The characters have depth and that is due to the excellent voice cast, led by Joaquin Phoenix, D.B. Sweeney and Michael Clarke Duncan. The film's comic relief is provided by the voices of Doug Thomas and Rick Moranis, who reprise their McKenzie Brothers/Strange Brew/Molson Beer Commercial roles as a pair of Canadian moose. The music was written and performed for the most part by Phil Collins, one of the most talented all around songwriter/ musicians of the last 50 years.

The special features on the DVD are excellent and paint a great overall picture of how the film was made, from story and character development to the music, soundtrack and songs.

My kids and I liked this movie very much. This film won't go down as a Disney Classic, but it is good quality family entertainment. It IS a Disney film, after all!! It has just enough stuff for the adults to keep it interesting and which will float right over the kids heads.


**** out of *****

SCRIBE's review!!

Bring on the pain!!!

Sadly, this was the only one of the five possibilities Green emailed to me that was available at my pubic library. Also sadly, it was only available on VHS.

It's been a while since I've been tormented with a modern-day Disney film, so allow me a moment to discuss elements that may be old hat to you. The film's story is almost certainly loosely based on an old Native American myth regarding some snot-nosed brat whose immaturity is second only to Paris Hilton's. Due to his desire for revenge on a mindless animal that kills his older brother, the Aurora Borealis decides to turn him into a bear until he learns his lesson and becomes a man.

All in all, not a bad concept for a children's film. And that's what this is, a film for children. Therefore, what begins with some beautifully rendered layout animation quickly gives way to flat, lifeless character drawings and silly pratfalls to keep the kids from dozing off while the plot is unspooled.

Eventually the "Action" begins. Actually, the suspenseful moments involving the hunting are handled effectively. The music that accompanies it comes in handy as well. This has never been Disney's problem. Their problem is the modernization of the characters in these films because kids are no longer intelligent enough to comprehend someone who comes from the past.

So instead of actual Native American actors with actual Native American accents, we get the whitest of white guys like D.B. Sweeney (a great actor in his own right) sounding like Valley-boys from San Fernando and completely draining the film of its authenticity.

What's that, you say? Disney films aren't about authenticity? No shit? Because I thought the talking moose brothers and the little ghetto bear were actually around back then! Shut the hell up and let a Scribe handle this!

Eventually, the remaining human brother comes after the bear he thinks killed his brother who really is his brother for more payback than Mel Gibson. Naturally, Brother Bear can only speak whatever language Disney animals speak that makes them able to understand each other but unable to communicate with humans. This is results in some brief but entertaining battle sequences.

But what really kills this exercise in crap-tility is the god-awful songs! Tina Turner warbles out some useless tune as we watch the brothers bound through horseplay, then later Phil Collins cranks out another dry, uninspired five-minute jingle from his junk drawer during a typically long and wacky passage-O-time sequence. The man hasn't been creatively relevant since 1991 but it hasn't stopped him...gotta admire that. It was enough to literally make me yell like a virgin being broken in by John Holmes!

Basically, this film would have worked if its creators had shaved all but thirty minutes and aired it on TV as an after school special. Like all Disney films, only the beginning and end have any relevance, and the rest is just more brainwashing for impressionable kids.

** out of *****

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9 Comments:

At 05 June, 2007 20:24 , Blogger Tim said...

All right there skippy - hit me with your next best shot.

 
At 05 June, 2007 20:38 , Blogger c nadeau & t johnson said...

Shouldn't we allow peoples to post up in dis mofo first?

 
At 05 June, 2007 21:03 , Blogger Tim said...

you can email me with some suggestions so I can have time to find whatever it is you choose

 
At 06 June, 2007 12:58 , Blogger c nadeau & t johnson said...

OK, I have a few.

 
At 07 June, 2007 09:37 , Blogger c nadeau & t johnson said...

You been served, vato!

 
At 07 June, 2007 10:44 , Blogger Tim said...

I know. I'm going to the library today to see what I can find.

 
At 07 June, 2007 11:33 , Blogger c nadeau & t johnson said...

Yeah, maybe someone will actually read that review LOL

 
At 09 June, 2007 21:32 , Blogger lccb81 said...

I read this. There, a comment.

And I like Disney movies. I try not to overanalyze too much.

I couldn't do that with Pocahuntus (sp?) so I never watched it. But I LOVED Finding Nemo. It's funny. :P

 
At 10 June, 2007 14:04 , Blogger c nadeau & t johnson said...

Poca-hot-ass was very accurate, though.

 

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