Scribe & Green on the BIG screen

There are far too many people out there writing “reviews of movie-films & articles about them with absolutely no clue what the hell they’re talking about." Here are 2 more of them! (Well, one of us knows what the h___ we're talking about, but we'll leave it up to you to decide who that is...) Ultimately, can two people as opposite as Scribe and Green agree on anything?? That's where the fun begins. Won't you join us? (Every now and then we'll add a guest review, just for kicks.)

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

To Die For

GREEN'S STRAIGHT FROM THE PAMELA SMART SCHOOL OF MANIPULATIVE BITCHINESS REVIEW:

A work friend of mine suggested this movie one day when we were talking about - what else - movies. Of course, I had never seen it before a few days ago when I watched it for this review. But I really didn’t need to. See, I knew the basic story already because this film is based on the real life story of Pamela Smart (pictured at her 1991 trial, below left) and it happened right across the border in Derry, New Hampshire, during the time when I was in college. I got the real life version in the news for several weeks (months, with the trial and all?) Believe me, the coverage around these parts was huge.

Of course, for this movie they’ve changed some of the details and the names of the characters involved. In real life Pam Smart was a teacher, in the film Suzanne Stone is an aspiring television personality. Even the city and county in New Hampshire are fictitious.

Nicole Kidman is excellent as the narcissistic, manipulative Suzanne Stone. She won a Best Actress Golden Globe for her performance but strangely was not even nominated for an Academy Award in 1995. Matt Dillon is good as her blindly loving husband, Larry Maretto. Illeana Douglas gives a very emotional performance as Larry‘s sister Janice. The movie also features a young Joaquin Phoenix and Casey Affleck. Director Gus Van Sant for the most part does a good job keeping the story moving, though I thought that the beginning of the movie dragged in a few spots.

I liked the documentary “after the fact” format Van Sant utilizes to tell the story. It makes the movie more interesting instead of using the traditional third party point of view or the first person point of view.

This is an entertaining film that I think you’ll enjoy.


***½ out of *****

SCRIBE'S WHY WERE NINETIES TEENS SO SCREWED UP? REVIEW:

This is one of my favorite movies. I knew it was based on actual events but had no idea Green was involved...wait, I just reread his review...scratch that last part. Sorry, Green.

This was Nicole Kidman's bid for legitimacy in the acting world and she nailed it. As the bitchy, covetous, manipulative and yes, very sexy media member wanna-be Suzannae Stone, she brings a stunning amount of depth to an otherwise vaporous character.

The documentary/talk show format Van Sant uses is a brilliant choice and now typical of the Nineties outlook on intrusive media (see Natural Born Killers & The Chase for examples). Were the film made now there would no doubt be some web cast references and nobody would be all that phased because everybody is Suzanne Stone now.

What was once shocking is now normal. Stone's belief that we're nobody if we're not on TV because nobody's watching is so ingrained in people today that the film seems at times more like a period piece than a timeless cautionary tale.

The acting is great. Matt Dillon plays good-natured dumb-asses better than practically anyone and a young Joaquin Phoenix brings a psychotic innocence to the teen boy who eventually does Stone's bidding that is compelling the way of a car accident. Casey Affleck is also very good although not given as much to do.

I want to read the novel now. This is a great film and deserved the Oscar much more than Fargo, which pains me to write as I am a huge Cohen Brothers fan~


***** out of *****

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Sunday, May 17, 2009

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

GREEN'S "DID THE DOG JUST EAT MY FINGER?" REVIEW:

Harry Lockhart (Downey, Jr.) is a small time New York thief who ends up at a party in Hollywood after stumbling in on a movie audition and winning a call back. At this same party is his childhood friend Harmony (Monaghan), who is trying to make it as an actress, though he doesn’t realize who she is until later that night when they meet at a club. Harry is offered detective lessons to help with his acting in the movie by Perry (Kilmer), a gay LA Private Eye. When Harmony’s little sister is found dead in a LA hotel room, Harry, Perry and Harmony get caught up in a real life murder mystery/conspiracy that parallels the Johnny Gossamer crime novels that Harmony loved so much as a kid.

I found “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang” in the $5 DVD bin at Wal-Mart a few months ago and bought it without ever having seen it because it looked interesting but primarily because of the excellent headlining cast of Robert Downey, Jr. and Val Kilmer. I’ve enjoyed their movies for almost twenty-five years, starting with Downey, Jr. for his bit part in "Weird Science" and Kilmer for the excellent but underrated "Real Genius" (both came out in 1985.) Having Michelle Monaghan in it, to me, was a bonus. She's excellent in this film - a great casting choice here. This is the third movie that she’s been in that I’ve seen, and I thought she was good in one and decent in the other.

Shane Black, whose writing credentials are unquestioned, having written the first two immensely popular Lethal Weapon films (and writing credits on the others), makes his directorial debut with this film, which he also wrote. Black handles himself well in the director’s chair, keeping the story crisp and at a good pace. I’ve often said that it helps when the writer of a story/screenplay is also it’s director, and this movie is no exception. Black has come up with a story that won’t surprise you, because you’ve seen this kind of film before. The story is engaging, the dialogue is sharp and witty and you feel invested in the characters. I find many films with narration to be incredibly annoying and distracting but here, the off-beat, incidental narration by the main character enhances the story.

If I had any problem with this film at all it would be that Val Kilmer is unconvincing as a gay man. Aside from the Gay Perry joke and the interesting place in which he keeps a small pistol, this tidbit really does nothing to add to the story. It is also a bit disappointing for me that Harry and Harmony don’t make it as a couple at the end, since they were childhood friends and there seemed to be an unspoken attraction between them throughout the picture.

Right from the opening credits this is a very enjoyable film. With a run time of 103 minutes, it's well worth your time to rent. If you can add "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" to your DVD collection for short money, like I did, even better.


**** out of *****

SCRIBE'S I WANNA BE A SUAVE GAY PRIVATE EYE REVIEW:

It happens every once in a while. Green and I are in almost total agreement!

I loved this film. The acting was top notch, of course, considering two of our greatest character actors are the stars. Michelle Monaghan was also excellent and quite the feast for the eyes.

Shane Black was always the bad boy screenwriter, having commanded the first million plus dollar deal for a writer with the original Lethal Weapon. His years of perspective have yielded a minor masterpiece.

My only disagreements come from the fact that I found Kilmer very much believable as a tough guy who is also gay and the fact that the film was better served by the fact that Downey and Monaghan don't wind up together at the end; it is the perfect statement on the transitory nature of Hollywood and the relationships that form there. Also, the lack of surprises is intentional because this is supposed to be a living Shane Black/Joel Silver type acton film.

I had trouble writing this review but Green's overview helped me out quite a bit. Sadly, this is the whole review because it would just be redundant if I went on.


**** out of *****

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Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Girl Next Door

SCRIBE'S THANK GOD FOR TIMOTHY OLYPHANT REVIEW:

Green wanted me to see this movie so badly he bought it and mailed it to me. Apparently, he thought I’d enjoy it as much as he did because of my love for the adult film industry… OK, not the industry but the product it churns out. Sadly, I didn’t get around to watching it right away or we would’ve already posted our reviews weeks ago.

Being the happy go lucky contrarian I am, I wanted to hate this movie. I wanted to scribe a harsh and negative review and shock Green with my outrage. Instead, I had a mixed response to the film mostly having to do with some odd choices on the part of the screenwriters and the female lead.

“The Girl Next Door” is the tale of a teenage geek in the fine Hollywood tradition. In other words, the only thing that makes him a geek is his acting and dialogue as he looks like a teen model made to appear less than cool. We also know he’s a geek because his far less attractive friends are uber-dorks with libidos the size of SUV’s.

The protagonist has a bright future ahead of him what with the overachieving and the potential scholarship, etc. Then some chick moves in next door and rocks his world. It’s love at first leer for our intrepid geek and, through a set of circumstances a bit too contrived to be believable, he and the neighbor wind up going out in what is the weakest scene in the film. Basically, since he peeped her from his window, she forces him to get nekkid in the street because, as we all know, a shy teen would do that in a minute.

Earlier in the film, the kid joins a posse of rowdier party goers in an effort to experience life before he graduates and causes a cop to crash into a nearby truck. This is never mentioned or referenced again. Slipshod writing like this plagues the film’s first forty awkward and slow-moving minutes. Elisha Cuthbert’s “acting” is dreadful in this portion of the film. Literally all she does is pose for the camera, grin stupidly and try to look sexy. She’s not sexy. Sorry, Green.

Somewhere near the 40-minute mark, something truly miraculous occurs: a real actor shows up! One of my favorites, actually. “Deadwood’s” Timothy Olyphant is (Cuthbert’s) agent/producer/former love interest in a performance that is at turns funny, scary and just plain cool.

The screenwriters must be commended on realizing what a weak first act they had and doing something other teen-related films don’t. The big reveal of (Cuthbert) being a porn star and the subsequent break-up/attempt to reconnect occurs early on and doesn’t work out well for the protagonist. This would have been the end of any other film.

It’s a good thing the writers had more to say because Cuthbert’s unconvincing portrayal of a former porn star becomes really grating after a while. Even in a role like this one, we need a bit more than a pair of doe-like eyes and a nice (fake) rack. The character is meant to be three-dimensional and human but the actor playing her seems to be lacking in those areas.

Once Olyphant arrives, the film picks up considerably. Sub-plots and surprises galore come at the viewer with surprising speed and intelligence. The horrific opening act is buried in good acting (except Cuthbert) and a storyline that is interesting enough to carry it to its predictable but satisfying conclusion.


*** out of *****

The third star is for Olyphant ONLY ‘cause he is da man!!!
Shut up! I do NOT have a man-crush shut up shut up!!!


GREEN'S "THE JUICE IS DEFINITELY WORTH THE SQUEEZE" REVIEW:

When I first saw this movie in the library, I wasn't really interested in checking it out because I thought it would be stupid. Even though I kept seeing it on the shelf I kept passing it over, opting for something else. Finally overcoming my fear of zero expectations, curiosity got the better of me. Obviously.

After I watched it, I was going to review it over on my regular blog when it hit me that a pornish kind of film such as this would be perfect for the scribester's tastes. When I suggested we review this movie to him and after he told me he looked but couldn't get it from his lousy local library, I was decidedly disappointed.

About a month or so ago a store I frequently shop at not only had this movie for the first time I could recall but they had it in the unrated extended version to boot. (They still had copies on the shelf as of last Friday.) I was surprised and pleased; so much so that I bought it and offered to mail it to the scribester, since the price was near to unbeatable. After some hesitation, scribe agreed and gave me his address. Off it went the very next day.

This is not your typical high school teen angst type of film. Okay it is. Sort of. The difference is what this movie has, unlike some other teen films, is a good story behind it that happens to take place in a high school setting. On the one hand you have Matthew (Emile Hirsch), the straight-laced, Georgetown-bound high school class president. On the other hand you have Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert), a teenager who has grown up too fast and wants to reclaim her life by getting away from the very thing that made her grow up too fast. The other major characters are perfect. Matthew's geeky best friends, Eli (Chris Marquette) and Klitz (Paul Dano) and Danielle's porn-film producer Kelly (Timothy Olyphant) who steals every scene with his pimped out, over the top performance. Did I mention that Elisha Cuthbert is drop dead gorgeous in this movie? (Wow, shocker that scribe-o-rama disagrees with me on this.) Kind of makes me want to start watching "24" y'know? And I'm going to do just that, too. Bought the first three seasons already...

There were parts of this movie that were extremely funny and other parts that were funny because they were so rediculously stupid. I had never heard of director Luke Greenfield before, but he does a good job here. The story has a good pace to it and doesn't drag at all.

No need to worry, folks; the unrated version only includes about thirty seconds of extra nudity and sexual footage, without adding anything significant to the running time of the R-rated theatrical cut. Specifically, the unrated version substitutes steamier footage into the film Eli watches while talking to Matt on the phone, removes some digitized bikinis in the strip-club scene and has a more threatening scene between Matt and Kelly. What you don't see is more of star Elisha Cuthbert. She explains, in one of the scenes she gives a commentary for, that she didn't want do any nude scenes.

The unrated DVD version also has a few more special features than the R rated version, which I enjoyed.

Sure the movie, for the most part is predictable. None the less, this is a much better movie than I expected it to be (no expectations going in except for the curiosity factor), which is why I've added it to my very own DVD library.


**** out of *****

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