Scribe's First Challenge

I have challenged the scribester privately to choose his first poison pill, er, movie- for our next review in this here column....

As soon as he maketh his selection, it shall be announced in this very space.

As the great balladeer once said on a 20+ year old Georgia-based television show:

"So don't y'all go nowhere, y'hear?"

---

What did I tell you?

Didn't I tell you NOT to go anywhere?

And what did you do? You went somewhere anyway. Don't think I'll forget this transgression of yours any time soon...

Now that you're back, I must confess that there are times when a good Christian man, such as myself, can be totally evil. And I also must confess that my evilness, in this particular instance, is fun.

You see, somewhere back in the last few years of blogging, I vaguely remembered that Sir Scribe-a-lot doesn't like animated movies. In fact I believe he despises them with a passion! Obviously, then, when I sent him a list of movies to choose from for this review - all were animated. A list I sent to him with a great deal of vicious glee and evil smirks upon my face.

Grudgingly, then, Scribe-o-Rama has agreed to watch and review "Brother Bear" as our next review for this wonderful column. As the format goes, MY review will come first and his review will be below mine, in the "true" evolutionary order of the universe.

Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow

Scribe's Review:

Don't let the title fool you, this isn't an old movie. It is an homage to the pulp novels and Saturday afternoon serials of a bygone era of innocence and institutionalized bigotry. How else to explain the rise to prominence of the Third Reich?

Sky Captain takes place in a similar world of the 1940's, except for the fact that giant destructive robots appear from time-to-time to wreak havoc on major U.S. cities. Like the pulp tales of old, the technology being used is far more advanced than anything available at the time (or even now), yet it looks like it could have been invented then.

Jude Law does a good job of capturing the mid-Twentieth Century tough guy behavior necessary for Sky Captain while Gwyneth Paltrow plays annoying gal reporter with the best of them.

The film's visuals are stunning and original. The filmmakers often wisely move the look of the film from color to black and white in a single frame that only adds to the surrealism of the film's storyline.

I must confess to having reacted to the visuals of this film the same way I did to the visuals in the original "Star Wars" all those years ago. Sadly, few filmmakers have been able to capture George Lucas' ability to make characters in extraordinary situations accessible, and this film is no exception. Still, it's a highly enjoyable ride with a twist conclusion that actually gives the often overwhelming visuals a heart and grounds the film in a stark reality that also serves as a cautionary tale for our mindless, automated age.
***1/2 out of *****

Green's Response/Review:

“Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow” is a story set in the 1940’s. Joseph Sullivan (Jude Law), an ace World War II pilot and ace newspaper reporter Polly Perkins (Gwyneth Paltrow) separately start to investigate an invasion of New York City by an army of evil giant robots, then reluctantly join forces when Perkins learns that her previous investigation of the disappearances of six of seven top scientists are linked to the giant robot invaders.

Their investigation takes them on a wild journey across the globe and leads them to the lair of Dr. Totenkopf, the man behind the weird events. Totenkopf, long since deceased, had created an island full of automatons who are collecting two of every kind of living animal for a large Noah’s Ark rocket/space ship that would preserve Earth’s various life forms while the planet itself is being destroyed by the exhaust from the rocket. Sullivan and Perkins must race to destroy the rocket before it launches and release it’s captive animal inhabitants.

The special effects are neat because the whole film was acted on blue-screen and filmed in black and white. Every other element, including color and lighting effects were added digitally in post production, which gives the film a unique look. The premise of the story is nothing new, however. The story itself has lots of promise but the script is weak and full of holes. The actor’s performances are hollow, flat, uninspiring and most of the time boring, perhaps due to poor direction or lack of anything resembling a set to work on. Maybe the poor performances can be accredited to lack of experience working with blue-screen. I expected more from such talented actors as Law, Paltrow and Jolie.

I saw this movie during it’s theatrical run and left the theater with the same uninspired feeling as I had after watching it again on DVD. I did enjoy the special features on the DVD, though. I always find interviews with cast members, the director and producer to be informative and the production featurettes to be entertaining. I wish the movie was as good as the special features.

Save yourself the cost of a rental. Watch this film only if you can see it for free. Buy it only if you’re a fan of one of the actors and must have a copy of all of their films. That’s my excuse for owning this movie.
** out of *****

GREEN'S SECOND (AND MORE ATTAINABLE) CHALLENGE!!!

I am now challenging Green to see the film "Sky Captain & the World of Tomorrow."

Once he's seen it and let me know, I will post my review of the film and he will post his below mine where his kinds belongs...oh, wait I used that one before. He will post below mine to get some practice for when he goes back to prison.


Ah. That's better.

WHILE WE'RE WAITING

I thought I'd share some info on a major celebrity obtained from a website of some noteworthy merit:


A lot of TV shows have characters killed off on the show when that actor or actress is leaving the show. On Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris actually kills that character, then walks off the set and drinks a warm glass of orphan blood.


Somehow, I think we all suspected as much.

Green's First Challenge

Green, like myself, is a bit of a film afficianado (although I am pretty confident my porno knowledge far exceeds his) and it took a while for me to figure out what he might not have seen. Then it came to me.



Green!!!


GREEN!!!

YO!!!

Thy challenge, should you choose to accept it, is "Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back!" Once you've watched it, I shall write my review first, and then your response will be posted underneath it, where your kind belongs.

Of course, I write this knowing full well that at some point I'll find myself underneath Green...


MMmmmmmmm...Underneath Greeeennnnnn...


Ahem!

Happy watchin'!!!

Umm, how does it work???

Here’s how this thing works, at least for now. Either Green or myself will “challenge” the other blogger to view a movie of that person’s choosing (whether I wanna see it or not) but that’s only the beginning of the madcap fun: The challenger must post a review first as part of his challenge once he knows the other person has seen it so as not to influence Green’s opinion. The point/counter-point reviews should be submitted within the same post so all can bask in the wit & wisdom of at least one of us. OK, I was referring to myself but only because Green’s reviews are so angry and hate-filled. He scares me sometimes. Other times he frightens me to the point where warm urine trickles down my leg, And even scarier is the fact that I don’t think it’s mine.

What was my point?
MOVIES!?Really???
Wow.

If you say so.

Anyway, this thing is purely experimental so bear with us as we get acclimated to it. As far as I know, nobody else is doing this the way we’re doing it. And if they are, regardless of when they started, they stole mah shit!

Let the Scribe & Green on the Big Screen Experience Commence!!!

This format is so weird, we don't even know how we'll do it yet. But that's half the fun. See, we think everyone is entitled to our opinions on stuff and we're almost always happy to share 'em with ya, even if you don't wanna hear it.

And, by the way, Scribe basks in his own wit and wisdom all of the time, so you don't need to be bothered. Think of a self basting turkey at Thanksgiving time. Just pop it in the oven and let it soak in it's own juices. (I don't even want to know what those juices are... really, I don't.) No fuss, no mess, no bother.

Oh, and about the reviews; who knows if we'll ever agree on them or not. But after you read Scribe's version, you'll be so confused and unsure of yourself that you'll question your sanity. Be relieved that my opinion will be there as sort of a mental ibuprophen to help you get your mind out of the gutter and back in the realm of reality or wherever it was before Scribe got a hold of it.

On with the show!!!!